occupyulsu
Friday, 23 March 2012
SHOCK RESULT: Candidates with more votes win election
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Election Week Summary It's been a hectic week of horse trading, bribery, chocolate flash mobs, weaponisation, mass troop movements and...
Thursday, 22 March 2012
Jennings revealed to be hand puppet
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Welfare candidate William Jennings has been revealed to be little more than a hand-operated puppet, to the shock and consternation of many v...
Voting process derailed after computer breaks down
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The sabbatical elections have been derailed following an unexpected malfunction of the university's computer. The lack of a computer mea...
Moursy sacrifices goat, sheep in last ditch bid to secure election
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Presidential candidate Adam Moursy has performed a ritual sacrifice in the SU courtyard in order to secure the favour of the gods in his eff...
Eligible bachelor Horgan delights marriageable young ladies
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Presidential candidate Eamon Horgan was revealed to be a bachelor looking for a wife at hustings yesterday, a fact that delighted the many y...
Wednesday, 21 March 2012
President Daly flees to South Seas
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Outgoing ULSU President Derek Daly fled the country late last night on a steam ship heading for the South Seas. Daly was quoted yesterday as...
Pavilion revealed to be secret nuclear base
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The David Hartery for President campaign has revealed that the university's newest bar, the Pavilion, is in fact a covert operations cen...
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