Presidential candidate David Hartery has urged the Students' Union to apply for a bailout from the European Financial Stability Mechanism in order to shore up its finances in the face of impending bankruptcy.
"The clear successes of bailouts throughout Europe are the strongest endorsement we need to apply to this fund. €300,000 is a tiny sum compared to the large amounts of money sloshing around in failed economies like Greece, Italy and UCDSU. We might even be able to get enough for a new students' centre."
Hartery rejected suggestions that ULSU was too small and unimportant to apply to the international bailout fund, saying: "I have been in advanced talks with Dr Merkel and I'm convinced that a declaration of independence on our part would be well received in European quarters. We would be the standard bearers for austerity worldwide."
When asked whether he intended to declare ULSU independent from the rest of the country in order to achieve his aims, the presidential hopeful replied: "We have already begun to throw our weight around on international issues like Kony, and look how well that's been going! I think it's only right that we pursue all avenues, including full sovereignty, weaponisation of campus and Marxist collectivism. All these options are on the table."
The Moursy campaign could not be reached for comment but reports suggest the team was consulting its dictionaries and first year European politics books.
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