Presidential candidate Adam Moursy has performed a ritual sacrifice in the SU courtyard in order to secure the favour of the gods in his efforts to win the sabbatical election. Moursy was observed ritually slaughtering a comely goat and two sheep while campaigners chanted in an obscure Celtic dialect.
The lack of a fatted calf on campus caused considerable consternation amongst the Moursy priests but after consulting his augurers, Moursy concluded that it would not be necessary to appease the child-eating god Moloch and instead chose to concentrate on lesser, more easily pleased deities.
While Moursy is not considered to be particularly worried about losing the election, ritual sacrifices have been known to secure candidates the favour of the gods and the election victory that ensures in the dying hours of the campaign. It is well recorded that in 2009 then welfare candidate Derek Daly devoted an entire brace of kestrels to the gods in order to secure election.
In other last minute election news, Education candidate Paddy Rockett was observed setting bonfires and pledging his allegiance to the dark lord Ramu, saying: "If elected the streets shall run red with the blood of your enemies, the tower of skulls shall reach to the Heavens and all the crayons will belong to me!"
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